Why do we choose to ignore things right under our noses? Is it a defense mechanism to protect ourselves from the truth, from others' judgments, or do we do it to escape reality and hope that it goes away by itself. Regardless of which rational you choose, one thing is for sure---you are only lying to yourself. The issue does not goes away, it does not wear an invisibility cloak. It is the elephant in the room. We go about our daily lives, pretending everything is alright, living an illusion......fooling no one but ourselves.
Naturally, our minds want to protect us from any emotional pain we may suffer. We start making excuses, but worst of all, we start believing those excuses. They become our truths, shaped by our perspective, and we recite them to everyone who inquires or expresses a concern. We put on a happy face, always smiling in pictures or at social events, hoping that no one sees the pain in our eyes or hears the stress in our voice. Meanwhile, we lie awake at night, scared and feeling helpless. Excuses don't mend problems. They hinder our ability to face the truth and deprive us of the strength we need to tackle our issues.
In addition to the mental and physical energy it takes to live inside the "everything is fine" bubble, we add an extra load of hardship by caring about what others will think. We do not want to be labeled or treated differently. We measure ourselves, our happiness, and our success, against some fake pre-conceived notion of what our lives should be like. We are not the Huxtables. We cannot wrap up our problems in 30 minutes and dance off the set, like Bill Cosby. Our lives have no script or a live audience laughing on cue. It is not a "teenage phase." As adults, I have noticed that we care too much about what others think. We stress over acceptance just as much as the kid who wants the newest iPhone or the latest Lebrons. Except that our need for acceptance comes at a greater cost than the latest gadget or sneakers. In our quest to mask the reality of the situation, we create an avalanche of problems through avoidance. Excuses lead to lies, lies lead to animosity and seclusion, and eventually we are lying under the rubble and unable to breathe.
When in fact, breathing is exactly what we should be doing. If we slow down our breathing, we slow down our impulses, and we are able to think clearly. We make better decisions because we are able to focus. Our decisions cannot be based on fight or flight, instead, we need to process and analyze them in order to see the big picture. A decision made today may seem as tiny as a snowflake, but when the ripple effect occurs, will you have the strength to react or will you plummet down the mountain?
Mindful Moment: We all want to live happy and healthy lives. The only way to do that is to be true to yourself. Are you living an authentic life? Isn't time you did?
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