Communication is as Important as the Air We Breathe

     

     We take the time to eat healthy and engage in routine physical fitness. We know that protein, fruits, and vegetables along with regular exercise provide our bodies with the nutrients we need to be at our optimal health because we want to live as long as possible.  We know that toxins such as alcohol, nicotine, stress, and drugs are destructive to our lives and make us sick.

If we think of marriage as an “intangible body," then we know we must fill it with proper nutrients: love, praise, companionship, intimacy, and friendship in order to have a healthy long lasting relationship. The problem arises when we begin to feed our marriages toxins, such as lack of communication, accusations, assumptions, and power struggles.  These toxins eat away at the marriage leaving us angry and resentful, in other words, starving for love. 

To restore the marriage, precise communication is critical. For me, it is the oxygen in our "intangible body."  Without oxygen, our physical bodies would immediately die, regardless of how healthy our bones and organs were. The same is true about marriage. Communication is as important as the air we breathe.  We may not always like or agree with what the other person has to say.  But, because we love them their ideas, opinions, and thoughts need to be important to us. Expressing ourselves clearly leaves no room for misinterpretation or assumptions.  It allows our partner to understand us without having to guess or draw conclusions based on incomplete information.  How do we improve on our communication skills? 

By talking calmly and listening intently. 

By not using an authoritative tone.

By not dismissing what our loved one has to say. 

The best advice I ever read about married life comes from a poem called the Myth of the Marriage Box, by an unknown author.  It speaks of false expectations that many believe marriage is made up of, perhaps because we have seen one too many romance movies and want to believe in the happily ever after.  Marriage is not a fairy tale. There is no glass slipper or magical kiss to wake us from an eternal sleep.  The moment we become lazy or complacent, it weakens, crumbles, and struggles to stay alive.  The truth is marriage is a work in progress.  It is as strong and as healthy as we strive to make it. 

Mindful Moment:   No marriage is perfect or without it’s ups and downs.  There are good days and bad days.  We need to dedicate time and effort to make it work.  Always talk things through, I promise it will breathe new life into your relationship.